Four Ways to Grow from the Pain of Being a Leader

Sometimes in leadership the most painful circumstances can bring the most growth. I am reading a book called Leadership Pain by Samuel Chand and he puts forth this equation:

Growth = Change
Change = Loss
Loss = Pain

Thus Growth = Pain

I saw this demonstrated recently while coaching a leader. This leader was faced with a particularly thorny situation involving a team member. Words were said, feelings got hurt, lines were crossed, professionalism fell apart, and changes had to be made. In the midst of this process, though difficult, this leader had to make the choice to see the situation as a learning opportunity, one that will lead to becoming wiser and, yes, a much more effective and efficient leader. But how does a leader arrive at such a place where they honestly see pain as an opportunity to grow? Here are a few tips.

1. The best have been tested. When stepping into the role of leader, you must recognize immediately that the leaders who you most admire have had their own share of pain and growth experiences. The reason you admire them now is because they learned from those experiences. They truly embraced that the many losses, pain and change were all part of a larger plan to grow and stretch them into the trailblazers we all now try to emulate. Your tenure as a leader will be no different.

2. It should not be lonely at the top. It is often said that it's lonely at the top, but effective leaders have a small circle of influence who are there to guide and advise them when difficult situations are before them. The power of the mastermind has been proven throughout time, and the most successful people in business often refer to this circle during challenging times.

3. Have a "bounce-back routine." What is your bounce-back routine when you are faced with challenges? In order for growth to happen, you have to be able to move beyond the problem. Preparing yourself to bounce back is critical. Develop rituals and find activities that will help you to quickly clear your head and be able to get back in the game.

4. See the lessons. As leaders, the tendency is to quickly address an issue and move on. However, it is imperative to take the time to evaluate the situation so you can see the hidden gems. Did the problem reveal a skill you need to develop? Is there a flaw in the company process? Can you now see new possibilities that seemed invisible before? Grab pen and paper and analyze the problem minus all the emotions.

Although we have been trained to avoid pain at all cost, our leadership growth cannot occur without it. Brace yourself, prepare well, and know that each experience brings you closer to being more effective.

Karen Hinds is the Emerging Leader Mentor. Her company works with organizations that are ready to develop their future business leaders. www.workplacesuccess.com