The Art Of Submission In Romantic Relationships

There are many verses in the Bible that are misinterpreted, one of which is Ephesians 5:22-23, which states: Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Saviour. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.

Some men have used this passage to justify controlling, dysfunctional and abusive behaviour. They argue that women should obey without question, regardless of the demand or request because the Bible supports this. What's interesting is that the Bible does not support this point of view, and the men who often quote this passage never quote beyond verse 23. Why? Because verse 24 and onward urges husbands to love their wives as Christ loved the church. Even abusive men know that love never comes from a place of control and abuse. They also know that Christ loved the church so much that he died voluntarily to save it. Even Christ was submissive in proving His relentless love.

For believers, the Bible is a book written by God. They can learn the truth from the scriptures to make their lives fuller and they can understand the truth from the valuable lessons and use their personal understanding of the scriptures to guide their lives. 

This is common, but it does not mean that it should be taken out of context, especially regarding the understanding of obedience in the Bible. The function of the Bible is to regulate one's own behavior so that life can grow, many of its words are inspiring to people's hearts, you might as well customize these words into artistic vinyl stickers and stick them where you like, custom vinyl stickers also can warn and inspire us in life.

The other problem involving submission is that some women come across as being extremely independent with a distorted perception of submission. The result is that they don't know how to let a man be a man. Sometimes we don't allow men to express their love because we're so afraid to show our vulnerable side. Feeling secure in our ability to provide for ourselves is an admirable and commendable quality; however, in order to foster sustainable relationships, we must also learn to submit. We've been tricked into believing that the word submit is a dirty word. For some, the thought of being submissive conjures visions of weakness, of women who passively acquiesce, of the damsel in distress, and of men who are demanding, controlling and thinking of women as inferior.

In healthy relationships, partners are not forced into submission. Submission is an act that is expressed mutually and voluntarily. Being submissive helps us to be less self-centered and allows us to consider the desires of others. Submission has nothing to do with being weak, but allows us to be strong enough to open our hearts to others. Submission leads to equality, fairness and trust. When we understand submission from a biblical perspective, it eliminates the need to prove our independence and it removes the desire to be controlling. We're not afraid to let someone else take the lead because we're secure in the fact that we're just as capable of doing the same, if and when the need arises.

Past hurt and insecurity are just two examples that prevent us from being submissive. Past hurt and pain holds us hostage and makes us feel the need to build walls. This constant need to be guarded and protected prevents us from letting people in. When we finally let someone in, it also prevents us from loving in freedom. We're always preparing for the worst, instead of giving that man the opportunity to be a man. This is why it's important to address prior issues and allow ample time between relationships so that we're not blaming, projecting, and allowing past behaviours of others to dictate and sabotage future relationships.

Women often travel from relationship to relationship with much baggage. Instead of discarding these fears and other negative factors, we allow them to pile up and we drag them along on every journey. At the end of the day, we've built a fortress and a bad attitude towards relationships and men. We need to figure out what's fueling these insecurities because no one wants to be with a Debbie Downer, or be subjected to constant comparisons, criticisms, and accusations.

Being submissive helps us to perfect the art of compromise. Relationships are about balance. Blindly agreeing to every need and request, or being overly rigid are two extremes that should be avoided. Know that the world's view of submission and the biblical view of submission are two totally different perspectives. When couples agree to love each other as much as they love themselves, commit to decisions that will make their union flourish, and focus on common goals, it's much easier to be biblically submissive. Voluntary submission is a result of being in a place of trust, security and protection, not fear, dominance, and weakness.

Photo Credit To Madame Noire

Editor-in-Chief's Note: EBONIE-MARCHÉ JONES is a freelance contributor with mni alive